Bob Reddy, Author at Diocese of Venice

News Briefs for the week of Oct. 15, 2021

Posted on October 18, 2021October 18, 2021 by Bob Reddy

Educators learn about athletic outreach effort

Principals, athletic directors and coaches from Diocese of Venice Catholic schools heard a presentation Oct. 12, 2021 at St. Ann Catholic School in Naples, titled “Play Like a Champion.” This is a comprehensive education program aimed at encouraging true character development while showing off core Catholic values in sports and being proactive in creating a positive environment for all levels. The group heard from Kristin Sheehan, Program Director, who explained how the outreach targets coaches, sport parents and athletes, teaching the positive character of sports with the aim of giving the game back to the children. St. Ann Principal Michael Buskirk shared his positive experience with implementing the “Play Like a Champion” program in his previous school and how it sets expectations and switches the current emphasis on sports from the “me” to the “we.”

Parish hosts youth festival

St. Michael Parish in Wauchula hosted 75 junior high students for a day-long festival on Oct. 8, 2021 with a theme: “Whatever I did for the one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me” Matt 25:40. The day included Mass, confessions, prayer time, talks, food, games and fun.

ECS Tigers on the Air

Epiphany Cathedral Catholic School Principal Nicole Loseto and faculty members appeared on WCCF News Radio’s Sunrise Charlotte County Oct. 6, 2021. Loseto and her fellow guests promoted ECS’ Catholic Identity, STREAM (Science, Technology, Religion, Arts, Engineering, Mathematics) initiatives and the Young Marines program.

Seminarian ordained as Transitional Deacon

Posted on October 13, 2021 by Bob Reddy

Diocese of Venice Seminarian Christian Chami took a major step toward his dream of becoming a priest when he was ordained to the Transitional Diaconate during a Mass Sept. 30, 2021 at the Altar of the Chair of St. Peter, in the Papal Basilica of St. Peter in the Vatican.

Celebrated by Cardinal Wilton D. Gregory, Archbishop of Washington, D.C., the ordination of 20 men from the Pontifical North American College is one of the final steps toward priesthood.

Present for the ordination were Deacon Chami’s immediate family and a few from his extended family. Also present in Rome was Bishop Frank J. Dewane who was one of the principle concelebrants; Father Alexander Pince (ordained in July 2021 and is completing his studies in Rome); as well as Diocesan Seminarians Daniel Scanlan (the cross-bearer for the Ordination Mass) and Joseph Doherty who are both studying at the Pontifical North American College.

Deacon Chami, 28, was born in Montreal, Canada, and was raised in Naples, and is a graduate of Florida State University where he first heard the call for a vocation to the priesthood.

“It popped up once at 17, but I really didn’t want to be a priest then, and the Lord also gave me a grace to wait,” Deacon Chami said. “I was well formed by the Brotherhood of Hope at Florida State, a religious order which runs the Catholic Student Union. They taught me how to pray with Scripture, pray silently, and how to properly discern.”

He became a seminarian for the Diocese of Venice in 2016, first attending St. John Vianney College Seminary in Miami before being selected to get his advanced studies at the Pontifical North American College. There he earned a degree in sacred theology from Pontifical Gregorian University and is working on his license in sacramental theology at the Pontifical Athenaeum of St. Anselm.

During the ordination, the new Deacons promised to live a life of prayer, celibacy, and obedience to their Diocesan Bishops. The new Deacons will have an additional year of theological studies and spiritual formation before being ordained to the priesthood in their home Dioceses. As part of the ordination rite, the Bishop placed the Book of Gospels in the hands of each candidate being ordained and said: “Receive the Gospels of Christ, whose herald you have become. Believe what you read, teach what you believe, and practice what you teach.”

In his homily, Cardinal Gregory pointed out that although the first Deacons of the Church did not have to go through years of formation and pass exams in Scripture, Moral Theology, Church History, and Liturgy, Deacons then as now were required to “demonstrate by their lives that they were men of integrity, responsibility, holiness, and trustworthiness.” He emphasized that “public ministerial office for people of Faith is no casual undertaking – for the ancients and most certainly not for us.” With that in mind, he affirmed that the Church has always held its clergy to high standards of holiness and personal responsibility. The Cardinal added that a Deacon must be “a man of charity, (with) real and heartfelt compassion and concern for the poor, the neglected and the marginalized members of our world. A Deacon without a heart for charity will be a hollow and worthless son.”

Deacon Chami said that he was mostly at “peace with the ordination, but every once in a while, the weight of ordination would make itself felt. I mean, our Faith is a mystery, so the reception of such a weighty Sacrament in the Diaconate which is the confirmation of a man by sacred orders to Christ’s servanthood is pretty heavy. Thankfully I know the Good Lord will do the heavy lifting.”

Since joining the Diocese as a seminarian, Deacon Chami has served pastoral assignments at St. Leo the Great Parish in Bonita Springs, Incarnation Parish in Sarasota, Ss. Peter and Paul the Apostles Parish in Bradenton and St. Francis Xavier Parish in Fort Myers.

Please pray for Deacon Chami and each of the Diocese of Venice Seminarians who continue in discerning their vocation and formation for the priesthood.

Catholic News Service contributed information to the report.

Conference promotes virtues of family

Posted on October 13, 2021 by Bob Reddy

“Incredible!” “Life-changing!” “Impactful!” “Educational!” “Just what we needed!”

This high praise was offered by some of the 120 couples from across the Diocese of Venice – newlyweds to those married more than 50 years and everywhere in between – who took part in one of the two simultaneous “Together in Holiness” Marriage Enrichment Conferences on Oct. 2, 2021.

Offered by the Diocese of Venice Office of Family Life in partnership with the St. John Paul II Foundation of Houston, Texas, the Conferences took place at St. Thomas More Parish in Sarasota and St. Agnes Parish in Naples. And were built around the theme: “Family, a School of Love.”

The purpose of the Together in Holiness program is centered “on serving couples who are in the midst of the real life, everyday grind of marriage and family, and aren’t merely trying to survive their marriage but are looking for a way to thrive in their marriage,” explained Charlotte Sacco, a Program Coordinator who led the Sarasota Conference for the St. John Paul II Foundation.

Bishop Frank J. Dewane opened the Conference in Sarasota noting the importance of the attending and that such offerings will become more frequent “as marriages and families are the backbone of who the Church is; who the Church always has been; and who the Church will be going forward.”

Bishop Dewane said he was humbled to stand before the couples and the vocation they choose to live which “takes a tremendous amount of grace and commitment. You live that out in showing your love as you go out into the community and Parishes by the example you give, by the life you live. This is seen in the dedication you have one to the other and as the family unit. You give a tremendous example as a witness to who Jesus Christ is to you both.”

At the closing Mass in Naples, the Bishop had the Conference participants stand to be recognized and then blessed them. He added that the power of marriage is that it is a bond between man and woman, unified by God.

Lisa Cotter, who was the keynote speaker at both Conferences, said that in order to build a Domestic Church, the goal of parents in this crazy world must be to recognize how much children need them. But it is more than that, it is “how much our children need us to show them the joy of living the Catholic Faith. And not just that it is this thing you have to go to for Mass on Sunday, but the joy and peace that comes with living within the designs and influence of God. You want your kids to be happy; but if you really think about it, what you want them to be holy and closer to the Lord so they have peace and joy in their lives that surpasses their circumstances.”

Cotter provided parents with six focused concepts to grab onto and run with to make their home a “School of Virtue.” These included: be intentional; tell stories; start small; live community; pray; and evaluate frequently.

“You have to answer the question; how do we make our home a place where our children learn how to live so they can gain freedom to live a virtuous life?” Cotter said. “This is needed even more as the world becomes more secularized.”

Additional speakers from the St. John Paul II Foundation challenged the couples to work together to address the needs of the family creating goals for helping to build up the “School of Virtue” within their individual families.

Two Diocesan priests also address the Conference – in Sarasota, Father Eric Scanlan, Pastor of Incarnation Parish in Sarasota, and in Naples, Father Murchadh O’Madagain, Pastor of St. Vincent de Paul Parish in North Fort Myers.

Diocese Family Life Coordinator Carrie Harkey said that bringing in the St. John Paul II Foundation to the Diocese was part of the Bishop’s continued emphasis on better forming married couples to live out their vocation in holiness and joy.

Harkey added that she was thrilled with this initial Conference and the positive response from participants and said that similar offerings will be made available in the future to all couples who desire to grow in holiness and strengthen their marriage and family life.

Relic aids in enhancing Parish Feast Day celebration

Posted on October 13, 2021 by Bob Reddy

St. Therese Parish in North Fort Myers celebrated its Patronesses Feast Day on Oct. 1, 2021, with a Mass and celebration, the first Feast Day since the Parish obtained a First-Class Relic of the Saint.

Father Jan Antonik, Parish Administrator, told a large gathering how honored and blessed the Parish was to have a First-Class Relic of St. Thérèse, something he strived to acquire since his appointment in early 2020. The relic was gifted to the Parish courtesy of Father Bob Kantor, Pastor of St. Agnes Parish in Naples, where it had been on display in the St. Agnes Adoration Chapel for many years. Bishop Frank J. Dewane approved and facilitated the transfer of the relic between the two Parishes

In North Fort Myers, the relic is now on display in front of a stained-glass window of St. Thérèse, and rests in a glass reliquary, the base of which has an engraved single rose and a plaque thanking Father Kantor and St. Agnes Parish.

“This relic allows us to be closer to our Patroness, St. Thérèse, who shared with us how to allow God to work through us using simple acts of kindness toward others and is an inspiration,” Father Antonik said. “She was so blessed with wisdom and spirituality. What took St. Thomas of Aquinas decades and thousands of pages, St. Thérèse accomplished in her little book – her diary, “The Story of a Soul.’”

St. Thérèse was a Carmelite nun who was born in 1873. She entered a cloistered life at the age of 15, living in near obscurity at a convent in Lisieux, France and died at the age of 24. She was canonized in 1925 and in 1997 St. John Paul II proclaimed her a Doctor of the Church in light of holiness and the influence of her teaching on spirituality in the Church.

Also, known as “St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face,” “The Little Flower of Jesus” or “The Little Flower,” she had a simple yet powerful message of doing small things every day and doing them well, which still resonates in the hearts of millions today. Her “Little Way” of allowing God to work through her life has become a guiding light for many.

Following Mass, single roses were distributed for the faithful to give to others as a “little way” of spreading the Love of Christ to others. Many also paused to view the relic and/or light a candle. A reception was held as part of the Feast Day celebration.

“St. Thérèse means so much to me and to my whole family,” Carmelita Moreno explained. “We prayed to ‘The Little Flower’ and it helped my niece overcome a childhood illness when we thought we would lose her. St. Thérèse’s simple way also helps guide my own life, making it easier to overcome the burdens of the world.”

Men Need Healing After Abortion

Posted on October 13, 2021October 13, 2021 by Bob Reddy

By Nathan Misiran, COO of Support After Abortion, Special to the Florida Catholic

Unsurprisingly, 80 percent of people who seek counseling are females. Greg Hasek, a licensed counselor with more than 20 years of experience, lightly shares that the 20 percent of men who go to counseling are being dragged in by their wives. Most men will tell you that counseling is the very last thing they want to do with their time and will only go if they are in a most precarious situation, usually when their own lives or marriages are hanging in the balance.

Those are the situations that Greg Hasek specializes in, most specifically in situations where men are dealing with addictions, past trauma or PTSD. But Hasek has another specialization: how abortion affects men and those roots run deep. Almost always, men aren’t coming to him for help with the aftermath of abortion. They are seeking him out because of an addiction that has nearly destroyed their lives.

From a counselor’s perspective, finding men who have been harmed by an abortion decision is no easy task. They are not walking into pregnancy centers asking for help. They are not walking into the offices of mental health professionals asking for help to overcome their intense feelings about the abortion, but these men exist in droves.

Think about it: there are nearly one million abortions that happen in the United States alone every year. Even if only a small percentage of the fathers are suffering negative effects from the abortion, that is still a large number.

What does abortion have to do with addictions? They are sometimes a root cause, or they have made the addiction or behavior infinitely worse as the man tries to numb the pain of the abortion decision.

There are many reasons why men won’t seek counseling, much less deal with the pain from an abortion. The two biggest ones, according to Hasek are these:

Our culture hardly ever validates men for the trauma they’ve experienced. The exception would be for war-related PTSD and trauma. But abortion trauma? Not a chance. Men shouldn’t hurt from abortion, our culture says, it’s a woman’s issue.
Men have been conditioned since an early age to suppress feelings and not show emotion. Crying is out of the question. Showing weakness is frowned upon. This doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t there; it just means that men have had to find other outlets, including unhealthy ones, to release pent up emotions.

As a licensed clinician, Greg helps men heal from not only their addictions and unhealthy behaviors and PTSD, but also from the trauma caused by the abortion experience.

Remember that rock thrown into the calm lake? When a man experiences trauma from an abortion, the effects are felt far beyond his own life. His detachment from his partner and his children is very real and very powerful. When his partner was inside the abortion clinic, he felt a double hit to his natural instinct to protect her and to protect his child, that fight response. When he looks at her, he feels like he let her down. He feels like he let his child down. Those failures may predispose him to delve deeper into his addictions, no matter what they may be, and drive him away from his partner and family.

The good news is that there are resources for men hurting from abortion. They need not suffer alone. Support After Abortion is hosting experts like Greg Hasek at their “Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma” free online men’s conference on October 16, 2021 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Register now at www.MenHealingFromTrauma.com. Those who participate in the live presentation can ask questions of the presenters.

Have another commitment that day? Register now and have access to the videos later. Many additional videos of Greg Hasek and others are already available at www.SupportAfterAbortion.com.

Pastor installed in Port Charlotte

Posted on October 13, 2021 by Bob Reddy

Father John Fitch was installed as Pastor of St. Charles Borromeo Parish in Port Charlotte by Bishop Frank J. Dewane on Oct. 5, 2021.

Father Fitch has served as Administrator of the Parish and for Bishop Dewane the installation as Pastor would solidify in the minds of the faithful that Father was there to continue serving the Parishioners. Outwardly, there will be no changes in the operation of the Parish but nevertheless the Bishop noted this was an important moment for all of the faithful and for the community at St. Charles Borromeo.

Bishop Dewane reminded the people of St. Charles Borromeo Parish and St. Charles Borromeo Catholic School, to support their Pastor in his daily work in administering the Sacraments as well as when he alone will be called to make difficult decisions that not everyone will always appreciate.

“He needs your support in many ways but in particular through prayer,” Bishop Dewane said.

During the installation, the priest begins with selected words leading to the start of the Creed at which point he is joined by the faithful. At the end of the Creed, the new Pastor has extra lines which are exclusive for him. In addition, the Pastor takes an Oath of Fidelity to the Bishop and his successors; formalized by his placing his hand upon the Book of Gospels.

The ceremony concluded with the signing of documents by the Bishop, the new Pastor, and two official witnesses of the Parish community, who serve as witnesses for all of the parishioners. Those documents are split between the Parish and Diocese as well as the Pastor’s personnel records.

Following the Installation Mass, Father Fitch greeted well-wishers who offered their sincerest congratulations.

New online course assists parents as primary teachers of the Faith

Posted on October 13, 2021October 13, 2021 by Bob Reddy

By John Carkeet, Special to the Florida Catholic

How are you, as a Catholic parent, fulfilling the promise you made at your children’s baptism to teach the faith to your sons and daughters?

The Diocese of Venice Office of Family Life and the Diocesan Institute of Catholic Studies and Formation can help Catholic parents fulfill that promise through “Empowering Parents as Teachers of Faith,” a three-week online course beginning Oct. 11, 2021, that inspires parents to practice the irreplaceable role they have in passing on the faith to their children.

“Empowering Parents as Teachers of Faith” will explore societal trends impacting children and what the Church proclaims about parenthood. The course will also explain the process of conversion and demonstrate how parents may apply this process to help their children develop a personal relationship with the Lord.

“The Church’s teachings have always put parents as the primary evangelizers and teachers of their children,” said Carrie Harkey, Diocesan Family Life Coordinator. “This course equips parents with practical tools and resources to accomplish the duties of forming their children.”

Harkey, a mother of three, designed the course alongside Dr. John Gresham, Executive Director of the Institute, in a manner that will effectively share relevant knowledge, generate fruitful discussion, and maximize online convenience.

“The Diocese understands firsthand that parents have busy schedules,” said Gresham, a father of five and grandfather of four. “That’s why this course comprises short, pre-recorded lessons that can be accessed anytime, anywhere and on any device.”

In addition to structured lessons, “Empowering Parents as Teachers of Faith” also provides an online forum for parents to ask questions, share best practices and acquire relevant resources. The forum also opens opportunities for parents to actively participate in a faith-based community that integrates the Church’s teachings into modern home life.

At the end of the course, the Diocese will facilitate a physical connection for all parents who registered by hosting a complimentary picnic for them and their families. Featuring hot food, fun games, and sweet treats, the outdoor social will take place Nov. 14 at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Retreat Center in Venice.

“’Empowering Parents as Teachers of Faith’ was designed by parents for parents to help them grow in their relationship with Jesus,” Harkey said. “I pray that this course will give parents the knowledge and confidence to help mold their children as models of Christ’s teachings.”

John Carkeet is the Marketing Coordinator Diocese of Venice in Florida Education Department and can be reached at 941-484-9543 or carkeet@dioceseofvenice.org.

News Briefs for the Week of Oct. 8, 2021

Posted on October 13, 2021October 13, 2021 by Bob Reddy

Mass to Open Diocesan Phase of Synod

As a part of the XVI Ordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops, “For a Synodal Church: Communion, Participation, and Mission,” Pope Francis has invited every Diocese in the world to inaugurate the beginning of the Synod with an opening Mass. In the Diocese of Venice, this opening Mass will be celebrated by Bishop Frank J. Dewane at 2:30 p.m., Oct. 17, 2021, at Epiphany Cathedral, 350 Tampa Ave., Venice. All are welcome and encouraged to attend this Mass. In this Diocesan Phase of the Synod, Catholics in the Diocese of Venice are encouraged to participate in listening sessions, which will be announced in the coming weeks.

Bishop meets Pope Francis

Bishop Frank J. Dewane had the opportunity to greet and meet with Pope Francis following the General Audience in the Vatican’s Pope Paul VI Hall on Sept. 29, 2021. Bishop Dewane spoke briefly with the Holy Father who in return asked about what is taking place in the Diocese of Venice. The Bishop was in Rome to witness the Ordination to the Transitional Diaconate of Diocesan Seminarian Christian Chami on Sept. 30, 2021.

Ministry of Acolyte conferred on Seminarian

Diocese of Venice Seminarian Jacob Gwynn was conferred to the Ministry of Acolyte on Sept. 26, 2021 at St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary in Boynton Beach. The principal celebrant for the Mass was Bishop Luis R. Zarama of the Diocese of Raleigh. As an Acolyte, Gwynn is now charged with assisting at the celebration of the Eucharist, purifying the sacred vessels and, when needed, to assist with the distribution of Holy Communion. As part of the Rite, the Bishop placed the paten, which contains the hosts for the celebration of Mass, in the hands of the candidate. He then said, “…take this vessel with bread for the celebration of the Eucharist. Make your life worthy of your service at the table of the Lord and of his Church.”

Blessing of the Animals

Many Diocesan Parishes and Schools hosted a Blessing of the Animals to celebrate the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi on Oct. 4, 2021. While many Parishes hosted the blessings during the preceding weekend, schools opted to either have the blessing before school or prior to the end of the day. The variety of animals was immense, from horses to hamsters, parrots to rabbits as well as nearly every assortment of dog and cat imaginable. It was evident that these creatures were well loved and an important part of each family.

Rosary making educates children

Kindergarten and first graders at St. Mary Catholic Academy in Sarasota used part of religion class on Sept. 29, 2021 to make rosaries. It was at that time the students learned how October is the month of the Holy Rosary and both October and May are months in which we give special honor to Mary, the mother of Jesus.

Prayer warriors bring hope, love for LIFE

Posted on October 1, 2021October 1, 2021 by Bob Reddy

As Mary Hackett slowly paced back and forth in front of an abortion facility in Sarasota on Sept. 22, 2021, her prayer was that somehow, she would be a symbol of love and hope and change the mind of all who are considering an abortion.

“I came out here so that young mothers choose life,” Hackett said. “I can only do that through prayer and the hope that the Lord will change her mind with an outpouring of love for that innocent unborn child.”

This is just one person who is standing as a witness for life during the ongoing 40 Days for Life peaceful prayer campaign which began Sept. 22 in Sarasota, Fort Myers and more than 1,000 other cities worldwide and will continue through Oct. 31.

Brian Harkins, a member of the Knights of Columbus from St. Thomas More Parish in Sarasota, spoke during an opening prayer service in Sarasota, proclaiming that the prayer warriors are not alone. “We are here to bond and for solidarity; to join others around the world in praying for the unborn; and to pray that the Lord changes hearts and provides healing to people who are going into (all abortion facilities). Your presence here is a sign of great hope.”

Harkins, who was speaking on behalf of Rich Owens, the 40 Days for Life Campaign Director in Sarasota, who was unable to be present, said that everyone must realize that the Pro-Life movement is in a spiritual battle between good and evil.

This battle comes at a time when laws on both ends of spectrum, in favor of life and against life, are being enacted or challenged. The most notable is the Texas “Heartbeat Law,” which is being considered in Florida. Other states, such as New York have passed legislation which allows abortions until the moment of birth. Another law under contention is from Mississippi and will be heard by the U.S. Supreme Court in December.

Appropriately, the Sarasota campaign began in the parking lot of the offices of Community Pregnancy Clinics Inc. (CPCI), a Pro-Life clinic that provides free prenatal services for women, which sits in the shadow of the Planned Parenthood regional headquarters on Central Avenue near downtown Sarasota. Among the crowd at the beginning of the 40 Days campaign was a newborn, saved through the intervention of Community Pregnancy Clinics.

About 50 people of different faiths gathered for the opening prayer service and during the coming weeks they committed to being a voice for the voiceless on the front lines in front of Planned Parenthood.

Since going national in 2007, 40 Days for Life has carried out more than 6,000 campaigns in 64 countries and “saved 19,322 lives, contributed to the closing of 114 abortion centers and helped 222 workers quit the abortion industry.

Pope Francis spoke about abortion on Sept. 27, 2021 in an address to members of the Pontifical Academy for Life when he said, “There is the discarding of children that we do not want to welcome with the law of abortion that sends them to the dispatcher and kills them directly. And today this has become a ‘normal’ method, a practice that is very ugly. It is really murder.”

The Holy Father said that to understand what abortion is, it helps to pose two questions. “Is it right to eliminate, to take a human life to solve a problem? Is it right to hire a hitman to solve a problem? That’s what abortion is.”

The speech marked the second time this month that Pope Francis has spoken out strongly about abortion. On his return flight from Slovakia on Sept. 15, the Holy Father repeatedly said that “abortion is murder” and compared the acceptance of abortion to “accepting daily murder.”

Meanwhile, the 40 Days for Life fall campaign in Fort Myers also got started in front of a Planned Parenthood facility at 6418 Commerce Park Drive, with a Vigil prayer service on Sept. 21.

A separate prayer service, in front of an abortion doctor’s office in Port Charlotte, was held Sept. 23. This doctor has announced his retirement, but it is unclear whether abortions will continue to take place in Port Charlotte, so a few dozen prayer warriors held a peaceful prayer vigil.

Participants in the 40 Days for Life campaign will be joining other like-minded individuals. Some commit to taking part for a few minutes, an hour, or all day as they stand in the public right-of-way. Appropriate signs will be provided at both sites but are not needed to stand and pray. Check with your Parish to learn what hours they have committed to 40 Days for Life, as many often commit to several days of prayer on the front lines.

Those interested in taking part in a local prayer vigil are encouraged to sign up in advance at www.40daysforlife.com (search for Fort Myers or Sarasota). While registration is encouraged, all are welcome to come for any amount of time they can to help save a life.

Catholic News Service contributed to this report.

40 Days for Life Sept. 23-Nov. 1

Sarasota campaign details

When: 7 a.m.-7 p.m. daily,

Where: 736 Central Ave.;

Contact: Rich 40DFLSarasota@gmail.com

Fort Myers campaign details

When: 9 a.m.-6 p.m. daily;

Where: 6418 Commerce Park Drive;

Contact: Paula and Rick at 40DaysforLifeFM@gmail.com

Reclaiming Lost Fatherhood – A Man’s Story of Abortion Loss and Recovery with Gregory Mayo

Posted on October 1, 2021October 1, 2021 by Bob Reddy

By Nathan Misiran, COO of Support After Abortion, Special to the Florida Catholic

Greg Mayo experienced an enormous amount of trauma by the age of 22. He suffered abandonment by his father at a young age, and then verbal and physical abuse from his stepfather, Greg had also been personally impacted by two abortion decisions. Feeling alone and not being able to trust anyone, Greg started to run from the pain of abuse and abortion. He recalls, “I began running away from the pain, running away from the abortion issue. I felt like I did not have a voice and like I did not have anyone to talk to.”

While others saw a charming, funny, life of the party, inside Greg was depressed, lost and scared. This feeling of isolation began to impact not only his mental health, but also his relationships as well. After years of running from the pain and shame after abuse and abortion Greg knew he needed help, but did not know where to start or where to go to find healing.

At the age of 18, Greg and his girlfriend found out they were pregnant. He did not agree with or support the abortion decision, but it happened, and sent him down a path of pain and confusion. He recalls, “one side tells you it is not a baby, which discredits the grief and sadness your feeling. The other side tells you, you are a horrible person, which brings pain and shame.” It was this pain, shame and confusion that caused Greg to engage in destructive behaviors. The unhealed trauma of abuse and abortion caused Greg to get stuck in the same cycle of bad decisions, that led to his second abortion experience at the age of 22.

The lack of trust from his unresolved childhood issues and the shame of his abortions began to impact Greg’s relationship and increase his feeling of isolation. Before meeting his wife, he noticed that when he started to get close to someone he would find fault in them, and create a reason to leave. He recalls, “I moved from place to place and relationship to relationship to constantly reinvent myself, so that no one could ever really get to know me.”

Greg eventually did meet and marry his wife but the pain of his abortion also had a direct impact on the relationship with his children. Greg became aware of his over nurturing and overprotective parenting style, that he developed as he puts it, “to make up for not being able to protect my unborn children.”

Greg began attending church and his Pastor encouraged him to learn from “hard times.“ This led to Greg sharing that he had two abortions in a men’s small group. To Greg’s surprise other men had been impacted by abortion as well, and in that moment it was affirmed for Greg, he was not alone!

Healing can often start with sharing your abortion experience, but abortion healing is an on-going process. Greg states, “as we change, our spiritual and recovery journey changes. We continue to grow, develop new insights, heal and move to the next insight and next level of healing.” Greg continued this ongoing process by finding and reading many books about abortion and abortion recovery. He continued to talk with his pastor about the feelings of pain, shame and isolation he had been experiencing for so many years. It was important for Greg to continue a relationship with his pastor because as he states, “when a man becomes vulnerable and shares his story he will need a mentor to walk alongside him and continue to guide him. He cannot do this alone.” For more information on the virtual healing groups for men visit the website https://www.supportafterabortion.com/virtual-support-groups.

As part of his healing journey, he learned to name and honor his unborn children, Abigail and Benjamin. He decided to write a letter to each child, apologizing for the abortion decision. While sitting on a beach he wrote to each of them letters of repentance, forgiveness and love then read each letter out loud before letting it go in the water. This process gave life and dignity to his children and to past relationships.

Greg found hope, healing and heard a calling to help other men suffering from pain, shame and isolation after abortion. He has become a facilitator for Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered, 12-step recovery program for anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind. It is a safe place to find community and freedom from the issues that are controlling our lives. He also wrote the book, “Almost Daddy.” This book brings awareness to the need for abortion healing and starts the conversation for abortion healing with men.

Greg encourages all men suffering from pain, shame, and isolation after abortion to take the first small step towards healing. “Of course, you are afraid, you are going to be dealing with uncomfortable emotions and experiences. But you do not have to do it all at once and you are not alone!”

If you are a man suffering from pain, regret and shame after abortion, you are not alone. Please call the confidential hopeline at 1-844-289-HOPE. For more information on how to help men suffering from the pain and shame after abortion or to sign up for a virtual healing groups, visit the website www.supportafterabortion.com. Greg will be speaking at the Support After Abortion Men’s Conference from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 16, 2021, along with many other speakers, including Bishop Frank J. Dewane and Father Shawn Monahan. Register now for free at www.MenHealingFromTrauma.com.